Dragon Scales: Tackling the Stigmatization of Body Image / Body-Shaming and Embracing the Value of Body Positivity

Written by Hannah Dang with support from the DAC team  

Back when I was a kid, I used to believe I was secretly a dragon. On both sides of my shoulders and my lower back, small, itchy, red bumps grew. As time passed, the bumps grew larger and larger until the bumps started to resemble dragon scales. Every time the bumps burned, I believed wings would eventually grow out of my spine, and I would be able to fly. At night, the bumps would run hot, and as I scratched the flaky, dry skin, I’d dream of trading my arms for dragon wings and being able to play with the stars. What can I say? I was an imaginative kid. Later on, I was disappointed to discover that I wasn’t a dragon. In my head, I chuckled because I’d imagined my parents would be frightened to discover their daughter was a dragon. 

To explain, the bumps growing on my body weren’t dragon scales but a type of raised scars called “keloids.” By definition, keloids are categorized as a kind of firm, rubbery scar caused by protein excess in the healing process as a result of a prior injury or skin trauma, which include and aren’t limited to acne, insect bites, and skin diseases (ex. chicken pox). In addition to growing more commonly on people with darker skin tones, they’re prone to growing on a person’s earlobes, shoulders, cheeks, and chest (Mayo Clinic). For a select percentage of people, skin conditions have the potential to be on the more severe end of the spectrum, greatly limiting people’s sensory systems as well as their muscles and nerve tissues.

Although I have a far milder case than others, I was advised by my dermatologists to avoid skin wounds at any cost if I hope to slow down their steady growth. As such, I have to be cautious if I decide to acquire a tattoo or another piercing. Albeit harmless, keloids cause about the same level of pain as sunburns, especially in extreme temperatures, exposure to certain types of clothing materials, and other external factors. Other times, the skin would become irritated randomly. Outside of keloids, other types of scars people experience include the following: 

• Contracture Scars: “If your skin has been burned, you may have a contracture scar. These scars tighten skin, which can impair your ability to move. Contracture scars may also go deeper, affecting muscles and nerves.” 
• Hypertrophic Scars: “These are raised, red scars that are similar to keloids but do not go beyond the boundary of the injury.” 
• Acne Scars: “If you’ve had severe acne, you probably have the scars to prove it. There are many types of acne scars, ranging from deep pits to scars that are angular or wavelike in appearance” (WebMD). 

Contrary to popular belief, keloids aren’t life-threatening nor are keloids contagious, but unfortunately, there is no cure or optimal removal procedure. I have grown to accept I will probably have to live with the scars (and the risk of growing more scars) for the rest of my life, but I’ve also grown to like my scars. Not to mention, scars shouldn’t hold me back from living a fulfilling life. I was saddened to learn I wouldn’t gain the power to shapeshift into a dragon at will anytime soon, but the scars had something else in store for me. One day, I was counting the scars running down my back, and I realized, the scars unexpectedly grew to resemble the shape of the Draco constellation. The head was formed on my right shoulder, crossing to the left shoulder, and the rest of the dragon’s body trailed down my back. It was almost poetic. For something beautiful to form out of something that hurt me. 

I didn’t always love my scars. 

For a while after I was diagnosed, I treated the scars as an afterthought. The keloids grew in size, and the pain worsened, but I became used to anticipating and enduring the spikes of pain shooting through my shoulders and back. The only at-home remedy I had was keeping the skin moisturized in hopes of relieving the symptoms. I continued to live an ordinary life, and the majority of people ignored the scars’ existence. Every now and then, someone would innocently question the scars, but I was at ease with it. There was no reason to fault someone for not knowing about raised scars as I never learned about keloids until the first visit to the dermatologist’s office. In return, I kept it short and said, “It’s just a scar” because I was no doctor, and it was simpler to explain without the complex medical jargon. Most people took my answer point-blank and moved on. 

“It’s disgusting.” 

Only two words. To this day, the words still rang in my head. It only took one nasty comment. One look of unbridled revulsion made my wings shrink. From that point onward, it became harder to ignore their contempt for my skin. 

The second time I started to further hate my dragon scales was during a makeup session. My aunts, older cousin, and I were supposed to attend a wedding reception, and I planned to wear a pink, sparkly dress. The only problem was the dress was designed with thin straps and would expose my scars to the other guests. Afraid of the scar garnering unwanted attention and ruining the wedding photos, my aunts attempted to cover the scars by applying layers of foundation and concealer, and spoiler alert, it did not work. It was funny because I started the night off feeling so pretty with a full face of makeup, my hair in a fancy updo, and wearing one of my favorite dresses, but my self-confidence was ruined in seconds.

I eventually grew to understand their intentions were good, but at the time, I believed my dragon scales needed to be hidden. For a long time afterward, I was ashamed of my skin. My pale, dry, scar-marred skin. I grew out my hair to cover the scars. I wore long-sleeved shirts and avoided crop tops in the summer heat. In the mirror, I saw every hurtful word etched in red underline on the olive skin I used to love. Words can be as permanent as scars. They hit skin-deep, and their marks remain even if they heal. 

I was around thirteen the first time I heard of body shaming. Body-shaming. We are all guilty of it. And it was not only something specifically directed at other people. It extended to shaming or hating ourselves. By definition, it was known as the act of bullying or criticizing your own or someone else’s body openly or behind their back (ANAD). More often than not, people develop body dysmorphia because of the prevalence of body shaming. Body dysmorphia or “body obsession” was described as “an obsessive conviction that one’s appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to fix it,” stemming from extreme body dissatisfaction, and more often than not, the mental illness was associated with depression and social anxiety (The Butterfly Foundation).

I’m sure every one of us had looked in the mirror and hated the person staring back at us. 

“My shoulders are too broad.”

“My breasts are too small.” 

“I’m too fat.” 

“I’m too skinny.” 

“I wish I was taller.” 

“I wish my skin were smoother.” 

Taking my experience of body shaming into consideration, I wanted to stress the value of “body positivity” and the importance of accepting the insecurities we have about our bodies. On multiple occasions, I experienced severe backlash for not possessing conventionally “perfect” skin. Part of it had to do with there being the myth – and a general genetic reality – for people of Asian descent to have smoother and better skin than other races. Another part of it had to do with my gender. As a young Asian American woman, I’m statistically and socially more pressured to fit a standard of beauty, and because of my scars, I was viewed as abnormal for not sticking to the stereotype.

If I were a man, I believe it would be more socially acceptable to have scars, but I have to emphasize that the blame lies not on the shoulders of one person or gender but on the stigmatization present in culture internally and internationally. Here, I open a conversation about the consequences of stigmatizing illness and other forms of mental disabilities concerning narratives about our bodies, especially for people who struggle due to body dysmorphia and eating disorders. Not every scar is visible, but every one of them sticks with you. 

According to Lindsay Kate’s “Body Positivity or Body Obsession? Learning to See More & Be More” speech at a TED Talk in Salt Lake City, Kate accentuates the staggering rates of low self-esteem in women in recent times. She said the problem isn’t our bodies but our body images (Kate). As she emphasized, our bodies, across every age and gender, are either objectified, distorted, or unattainable. Kate then went on to share an anecdote about her experience on her high school’s swim team, and I became inclined to share my experience. 

Because swimsuits were designed to be tight-fitted and expose a lot of our skin to prevent the physics of “drag” in the swimming pool, I inevitably had to show my scars. Innately, I understood I wasn’t there to be a supermodel, and everyone’s body on the team was genetically different, but comparing the size of my body to everyone else’s was unavoidable. During our swim-fit team bondings, I was envious of my friends’ hourglass figures. On one end, I remembered struggling to squeeze into the suits while the other girls’ suits slipped on their bodies as easily as slipping on gloves. To add on, my body image worsened as the straps of the suit were too thin to hide the scars on my shoulders. On a couple of occasions, I noticed the indiscreet stares and a few people would comment on the massive lumps. It hurt enough to know I was still ashamed of my dragon scales. 

Going back to Kate, she saw there was a consistent theme amongst beauty corporations: “You’re beautiful, flaws and all.” Although Kate understood the trend was intended to be uplifting, the problem wasn’t fixed. People were still defined by “beauty.” We are viewed as “bodies first, people second.” Aiming to transform the approach to body images, she and Lexie Kate, her twin sister, started a non-profit organization called “Beauty Redefined.” Instead, their mission is to redefine not only physical beauty but its value in our lives. Their motto, “See More, Be More,” was centered around the notion that we are more than a “beautiful body.” 

According to their research, body fixation or self-objectification (“the process of monitoring your body from an outsider’s perspective”) detrimentally affected people’s performances in education, sports, careers, and everyday life. To add on, people were only more interested in improving their health if it affected their “beauty.” As someone who used to be more concerned about removing my scars for cosmetic purposes instead of prioritizing my health, the statement was more prevalent than ever. Kate iterated we must sever the damaging relationship between health and beauty in order for people to develop body image resilience by facing their body image disruption head-on. In the end, it should not be about believing your body “looks” good but knowing it is good regardless of how it looks.

This notion slowly intertwined with the stigmatization of eating disorders. I must note eating disorders do not directly correlate to a person’s body image or self-esteem and vice versa. Although both are oftentimes cross-referenced, even if a person were to have low self-esteem, it doesn’t automatically guarantee the person has an eating disorder as there is a spectrum for different kinds of eating disorders. Listed below are some common types of eating disorders: 

• Anorexia Nervosa: “Generally [viewing] themselves as overweight, even if they’re dangerously underweight. They tend to constantly monitor their weight, avoid eating certain types of foods, and severely restrict their calorie intake.” 
• Bulimia Nervosa: “Frequently [eating] unusually large amounts of food in a specific period of time.” 
• Binge-Eating Disorder (BED): “Individuals with this disorder have symptoms similar to those of bulimia or the binge eating subtype of anorexia.” 
• Avoidant / Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID): “Individuals with this disorder experience disturbed eating due to either a lack of interest in eating or a distaste for certain smells, tastes, colors, textures, or temperatures” (Petre).

I brought up eating disorders because they play a major role in beauty standards. Just as people believed my “beauty” was expired because of my keloids, people who were diagnosed with an eating disorder suffer and are groomed to be ashamed of their condition due to the crippling expectations society sets on our shoulders. Symptoms of eating disorders include anxiety, “intense fear of weight gain,” preoccupations with dieting, excessive exercising, and others. All of the symptoms align with the symptoms of people who have body dysmorphia. By understanding other kinds of insecurities experienced by different people, we grow to understand the importance of spreading empathy and supporting one another in our time of need. 

Sadly, not everyone understands that. As Bretman Rock summed it up, “When did beauty become so ugly?” (them). Over the course of time, the beauty community morphed into a toxic industry, aiming to discourage people by using body shaming and people’s body dysmorphia as their artillery. There are deadly consequences to downplaying the effects of body shaming others. It hurts more people than we think. For instance, think of models. As per the job description, models are contractually required to be flawless, but maintaining someone else’s definition of beauty is exhausting. There is the misconception that “pretty” people have the world at their fingertips, but “pretty” people face their own challenges. “Pretty” and “beautiful” have positive connotations, but it grows into an issue if people are reduced to an object of desire with no other purpose. 

This, in turn, is relatable to the application of makeup products. Several of us apply makeup to change our appearances or beautify ourselves, and I have to emphasize there is nothing wrong with using makeup. Makeup was and will continue to be valued as a symbol of self-expression and freedom. In regards to toxic masculinity and femininity, makeup was viewed as a means of oppression and a sign of weakness. The polarizing symbolisms of makeup caused a divide between men, women, and everyone in between around the globe. It begged the question: what is “true beauty”? I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of “beautiful.”  

I want “compassionate.”

I want “ambitious.” 

I want “courageous.”

I want more. 

Being unable to love ourselves is a contagious disease. The path to healing isn’t linear. I would know. The scars I have are healing, but the pain stubbornly lingers. Learning to love ourselves and accepting others is crucial to being our unapologetic selves. Embracing body positivity, for that matter, will be one of the greatest obstacles we’ll ever face. I like to believe the scars on my back haven’t stopped forming because their Draco constellation isn’t complete.

According to Greek mythology, Draco is Latin for “dragon” and represents the story of Ladon, the dragon that guarded the golden apples in the Gardens of the Hesperides. Ladon was eventually defeated by the demigod hero Hercules and then placed in the sky by Hera, the goddess of women, family, marriage, and the Queen of the Olympian Gods (Constellation Guide). Just as Hercules bested Ladon, I bested the body shaming I faced, and I have the battle scars to show for it.

Works Cited

“Body Shaming. What It Is & How to Overcome It: ANAD.” ANAD: National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, ANAD, 20 Oct. 2020, anad.org/get-informed/body-image/body-image-articles/body-shaming/. 

“Bretman Rock Breaks down His Social Media Fame, New Book & Why He Left the Beauty Community | Them.” YouTube, Them, 22 Feb. 2023, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI8-QOOPzV0&list=WL&index=16. 

“Draco Constellation.” Constellation Guide, An Elite Cafemedia Lifestyle Publisher, http://www.constellation-guide.com/constellation-list/draco-constellation/. 

Kate, Lindsay. “Body Positivity or Body Obsession? Learning to See More & Be More | Lindsay Kite | TedxSalt Lake City.” YouTube, YouTube, 6 Nov. 2017, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDowwh0EU4w&list=WL&index=13. 

Mayo Clinic Staff. “Keloid Scar.” Mayo Clinic, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 11 Oct. 2022, http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/keloid-scar/symptoms-causes/syc-20520901. 

Petre, Alina. “Learn about 6 Common Types of Eating Disorders and Their Symptoms.” Healthline, Healthline Media, 18 May 2022, http://www.healthline.com/nutrition/common-eating-disorders#types. 

WedMD Editorial Contributors. “Scar Treatments: Types of Scars and Their Treatments.” Edited by Debra Jaliman, WebMD, WebMD, 2021, http://www.webmd.com/beauty/cosmetic-procedures-scars. 

“What Is Body Obsession?”. The Butterfly Foundation for Eating Disorders, The Butterfly Foundation, http://www.butterfly.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Body-Obsession-Factsheet.pdf.